Dads face homophobic abuse over wedding photos

This article contains details of homophobia and hate speech. The BBC Action Line has details of a range of advice and support for anyone affected by the issues raised.

A couple from Wigan have said they were subjected to hundreds of homophobic messages after sharing photographs of their wedding online.

Steven and Conor Bonilla-Graham-Darby, from Leigh, tied the knot in June, after 15 years together. Their 10-year-old son George acted as best man.

But Steven said what should have been the happiest day of their lives became the start of months of "trauma".

He said he tried to ignore the negative comments at first, but was soon drawn to them.

Steven and Conor, 33 and 32, celebrated their wedding day at Sefton Palm House on 13 June, after three years of planning.

"There were so many emotions," Steven said of the big day. "To be able to stand there in front of our son and show him what true love and commitment looks like, and to show him a different version of love, made me feel really proud."

But after a dream wedding day, the pair say they woke up to an overwhelming number of abusive messages.

"The morning after the wedding I woke up to so many notifications," Steven said. "I just went numb."

"At first I just let them comment," he said, "because there were still lots of positive comments.

"But then later that week I would get up and it would be 10 notifications on my phone and they're all negative."

Steven said other comments referred to the case of Preston Davey, a child in Blackpool who was murdered by his adoptive father.

"There was a reference to us, calling us paedophiles and child molesters," he said.

"It was as though [being gay] meant we are all in the same boat."

Steven said while he was able to take criticism of the photographs for their stylistic choices, the abuse directed at his family went far beyond that.

He said the experience left him traumatised and affected his mental health - particularly after messages became threatening.

Steven also said he did not feel he could report the comments to authorities.

"The comments were homophobic comments," he said. "But I felt like I couldn't tell a police officer that someone's calling me 'dirty' or 'it's sick'.

"I just didn't have confidence in that process."

Steven said he still struggles to deal with what happened.

"I'm still not sleeping great," he said. "I've lost weight."

He added: "People question why we need Pride now.

"It is because people feel the need to turn the comment section off on the most important day of their life due to being abused.

"So until that doesn't have to happen, then that's why we should still have Pride."

According to Meta, which owns Instagram, hateful conduct is prohibited across its platforms.

Meta defines hateful conduct as "direct attacks against people" on the basis of protected characteristics - including sexual orientation.

It said dehumanising speech, allegations of serious immorality or criminality, and slurs will be removed from its platforms.

Under UK law, crimes committed against a person because of their sexual orientation, including harassment and online abuse, are hate crimes and should be reported to the police.

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