'I am a survivor but I am also so many other things'

A survivor of sexual assault has dedicated herself to raising money for a charity which she said was a "game-changer" when she was at her lowest.

Saxon Rose was 13 when she told her parents that she had been sexually abused but she promised herself then that she would never talk about it again.

Now 30, Saxon said she finally felt empowered to speak out after she received support from Gloucestershire Rape and Sexual Abuse Centre (GRASAC). She is raising money for the centre which is currently facing major financial challenges.

"I didn't do anything wrong [and] the shame is not mine," said Saxon. "I am a survivor but I am also so many other things."

According to the centre's CEO Sharne Maher, the charity is facing the biggest funding crisis in its history.

Rape Crisis England and Wales said more than half of rape crisis centres had closed since 1985.

Saxon, who has waived her right to anonymity, said the support she had received from GRASAC had given her the confidence to speak out.

She said she did not have internet resources to turn to as a teenager and she received no professional support at the time.

"I felt like I just had to carry on because it's not something that you talk about," she said.

She said having support from GRASAC had provided her with a lifeline.

"Just having an organisation that was so gentle and validating and trauma-informed, and was just so ready to help with whatever you needed, was absolutely game-changing when historically you are so silenced and so alone as a survivor," she said.

"Even though there's so many of us, we're not encouraged to talk about it.

"We are encouraged to stay quiet, stay low, hide it, no one wants to hear about it."

Saxon said she was deeply concerned about the future of the centre.

She said survivors of sexual abuse were often "left to their own devices" and did not necessarily know where to turn for support.

"These places aren't necessarily talked about unless you are someone that's experienced it," she said.

"I want to do what I can to kind of let people know that places like GRASAC exist.

"If they are not supported then they will be struggling and we cannot take having them for granted because they are a lifeline for so many people at so many different points in their life."

According to Rape Crisis England and Wales, there were 84 centres across the two nations in 1985. As of 2026, there are 36.

Ms Maher said it costs GRASAC about £500,000 to stay open every year and funding had declined over the years.

"In recent years, we lost a big contract with the Police and Crime Commissioner, which went out to public procurement," Ms Maher said.

"We have also found that funders like foundations and trusts are actually much more competitive."

Three rape crisis centres in England and Wales closed down across 2024 and 2025 and Ms Maher said GRASAC's projections suggested the Gloucestershire organisation was "very much at risk" of closure from April 2027.

The centre, which opened in 1984, receives between 600 and 800 referrals a year and Ms Maher said she would like to see it survive for another 40 years.

"Our local [integrated care board] have stepped in and given us a lifeline... which means that it is now extended until July 2027 but we really need sustainable funding that is not just for one year but multi-year," Ms Maher said.

"We need government to acknowledge that rape crisis centres are essential.

"We know that the government wants to halve violence against women and girls in the next 10 years.

"In order to do that, we need these services around, and we need them to be well funded and secure.... so that we can get on with the really important work."

Kirsten Fruin, from the Office of the Police and Crime Commissioner, said the funding given to the centre was through "a formal contractual arrangement which was due to expire".

She said: "GRASAC submitted a bid but was ultimately unsuccessful.

"It is not uncommon for organisations to gain or lose contracts through competitive tendering processes."

The OPCC said it had raised GRASAC's concerns with its commissioning partners and was "exploring whether specialist charitable sector support and expertise may be able to assist the organisation".

The "lifeline" from the ICB, plus £112,000 of funding from the Ministry of Justice (MoJ), will bridge the gap until next July.

The MoJ announced £550m of funding for specialist support services in December 2025, when Sarah Sackman KC MP, Minister for Courts and Legal Services, said she had seen first-hand how court delays had left survivors "feeling paralysed and re-traumatised as their cases drag on".

With the hope of raising £5,000 for GRASAC, Saxon is taking on several challenges, including a Tough Mudder race, a wing walk and an art exhibition.

Saxon said she was taking on challenges that "scare the life out of her" for a poignant reason.

"Fear is such a key and big emotion that survivors of sexual violence will feel both when they're in the experience and then also in the healing process as well," she said.

"I really wanted to take on fears in that symbolic way of standing with survivors and showing them that just existing in the day-to-day and facing the world and keeping going is inherently a brave act."

She has also set up The Brave Enough Project on Instagram to "honour the courage survivors already show every day just to keep going, to exist and to heal".

She said: "I think the image of [survivors] is you have to be one thing or the other.

"You have to be brave and strong, or you have to be completely vulnerable and incapable, and it's just not true.

"We exist in the in-between."

She said she wanted to remind people, through the fundraising, that survivors "are complex and wonderful and strong".

• If you've been affected by the issues in this story, help and support is available via the BBC Action Line.