'I denied I was pregnant until the day my daughter was born'

For 14 years, Shannon Senior had worked as a nurse. But when she became pregnant with her first child in 2023, she said she could not accept what was happening.

"I just thought this is going to ruin my life… and I just went into complete shock about it, for the whole nine months, it just didn't exist.

The Solihull mum said she avoided preparing for the baby, including decorating a nursery, and wore hospital scrubs to hide the changes to her body.

"My body just went into self-defence mode and thought 'focus on what you do best, which is nurse', and the scrubs that we wear in the hospital hid the bump very well."

Her experience was later identified as a condition called affective denial of pregnancy, when a person intellectually recognises they are pregnant but fails to emotionally acknowledge or accept it.

Senior developed pre-eclampsia, with her blood pressure reaching 170, and had an emergency caesarean.

"I parked my car on double yellow lines outside [the hospital], thinking I'm just going to literally run in, get my blood pressure checked and home… and I walked out with a baby two days later.

"It was only when I signed the consent form that I realised what was happening and just went into complete meltdown."

After her daughter Lily was born, Senior said she struggled to feel the maternal connection she had expected.

"For the first nine weeks of her life, I wasn't the mum that everyone expects you to be.

"Everyone was like, 'When you give birth, you'll have this overwhelming love,' and that just never happened for me. When they tried to put Lily on me, I was like, 'I don't want to hold her, don't put it on me.'"

By December 2024, Senior said her mental health had deteriorated further.

Following a stressful shift on a trauma unit, she attempted to take her own life.

"I thought 'If I can't even nurse patients… and I can't be a good mum, and I can't settle my own daughter, then there's no point me being here,'" the mother said.

She eventually sought professional support from midwives and health visitors, which she said helped her to stabilise.

"My health visitor is like gold dust.

"I decided that I had to put myself first, and the NHS will run without me… and lo and behold, it's still standing now, and I've not been there for nearly two years."

Now, Senior is six months pregnant with her second child – a boy.

She describes this pregnancy as completely different from her first, adding that this time she has been able to acknowledge the pregnancy and prepare for her baby.

Having experienced her own mental health crisis, Senior wants others struggling during pregnancy, or after giving birth, to seek help before reaching breaking point.

"Don't be afraid to ask for help… you're not going to be sectioned, you're not going to be carted off, and your children certainly aren't going to be carted off.

"When you hit that breaking point, there's a chance that will happen. So as soon as you realise it's happening, you need to seek that help. And honestly, it changed my life," she said.

If you've been affected by the issues in this story, help and support is available via the BBC Action Line

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