'It took 30 years to talk about my teacher raping me'

Warning: This story contains details of sexual violence

A woman who was groomed and raped by her music teacher as a teenager has spoken to the BBC about the abuse she kept secret for more than three decades.

She was 15 when she met Keith Allen, a supply teacher at her school in Birmingham in the early 1990s.

Last month, the 82-year-old, from Sibford Gower in Oxfordshire, was jailed for eight-and-a-half years after a jury found him guilty of raping her in 1992.

The woman, who is now in her 40s and has moved out of the West Midlands and lives in Sussex, said: "I became quite robotic, I don't know how I got through GCSEs and A levels."

She first came across Allen when he covered for her music teacher and described him as someone who initially appeared "friendly" and "jokey".

But she said what followed was a gradual process of grooming that she did not recognise at the time.

"When you are in it, you do not realise what is happening, it is very slow," she said.

"When you are that age, you are just a teenager, you don't think. He was giving me like a glass of wine mid-morning, you know, a teacher doing that. That's not right, is it?"

As Allen's involvement in her life grew, clarinet and saxophone lessons at school became lessons beforehand at her family home. He also began driving her to school.

"At first it is just a touch on the shoulder, moving you into position, how you are holding an instrument, just very tiny little subtle things, those first points of contact which are normalised," she said.

"It is so slow, it is so subtle, the behaviour development, that you do not see it creeping up and then you freeze."

She later began spending time at Allen's home in Harborne instead of attending school.

One evening, after eating a Cantonese takeaway there, she suffered an allergic reaction.

"My mouth was swelling up, my airways started closing up and I felt very nauseous," she said.

"I was in a complete state basically and all puffy and swollen and just wanting to go home and be with my mum."

She said she was sitting on the bathroom floor, holding on to the toilet, when Allen came upstairs and dragged her to the bedroom.

"I was saying no, just saying it so many times, but I couldn't physically do anything to stop him," she said.

"And he just raped me then."

Although she immediately recognised the attack as rape, she said she felt unable to tell anybody what had happened.

"I felt so trapped at that point," she said.

"I could say, 'I've just been raped', but how would I explain why I was there or how I got into that situation in the first place?"

It wasn't until 2022 when she had grief counselling that she confronted what had happened.

The following year she made a formal complaint to police.

"I am a mum now and my children are the age that I was then - and that cannot happen to them," she said.

She said finding the courage to contact police was difficult and it "took me a few days just to pluck up the courage".

Det Con Andrew Jones, from West Midlands Police's Major Crime Team, said: "I would like to express my gratitude to the brave woman who came forward to report what Allen had done to her as a child.

"She has been so brave throughout the investigation and court process."

Allen was sentenced at Birmingham Crown Court in July.

His defence argued the offence was committed during a difficult period in his life while he was experiencing anxiety.

But, during his sentencing remarks, His Honour Judge Paul Farrer KC, said he did not accept Allen's judgement was impaired at the time and said he had abused a position of trust.

That his offending remained undiscovered for more than three decades meant he was able to enjoy life in the community, the court heard.

It was noted the defendant was now in poor health, had diabetes, glaucoma and impaired hearing, had previously had a heart attack and might be experiencing the onset of Parkinson's disease.

The woman said it was not the sentencing but the guilty verdict that had been most important to her.

"I felt heard, I felt people have listened and they believe me," she added. "It is really validating and it raises your self-esteem a little bit, it means a lot."

She has now turned to art to help her process what happened and to explore the psychology of grooming.

"It is therapeutic for me," she said. "A picture is worth a thousand words, and you can convey a lot of emotions in it."

She hopes her story will connect with other survivors and help those in similar situations.

Lisa Thompson chief executive of the Rape and Sexual Violence Project, agreed that holistic expression was important.

"Trauma is embodied and sometimes finding words to explain what we have been subjected to, and what we carry, is difficult," she said.

Thompson added it was incredibly important survivors were supported throughout the process as well.

"It can be a life-changing thing which has happened to someone, and it may not be just one isolated incident, some people may have been subjected to multiple incidents over a number of years or decades.

"People can feel really isolated, alone, depressed and anxious, and to have the support of someone who believes them and can help them through the process is super important."

• Help and support is available for the issues raised in this article at BBC Action Line

Follow BBC Birmingham on BBC Sounds, Facebook, X and Instagram.