Best friends despite a 54-year age gap

A 22-year-old woman and a 76-year-old retiree say becoming best friends has transformed their lives and challenged what they thought about each other's generations.

Iona Leaf met Judith Chapman at a church in Cheltenham when she was a student at the University of Gloucestershire and Judith was a church warden.

Despite a 54-year age gap and living 130 miles apart, the pair now spend a weekend together every month and have recently returned from a holiday in the Scottish Highlands.

They say they talk about everything, share a love of cooking, art and fashion, and have challenged stereotypes about their ages along the way.

Iona first noticed Judith because she "looked very colourful and very put together and just really interesting".

"I was kind of bewitched, like, 'who's this woman?'"

What began with visits to see Judith's cat, Maximus, soon grew into a close friendship.

"I started inviting myself for cups of tea so that I could stroke the cat," said Iona.

Having lived in Cheltenham for three years, she had never explored much of the surrounding Cotswolds.

"She kind of drove me around," she said.

Judith recalled thinking: "You can't have been at university in Cheltenham and not been to the Cotswolds, so I will be your chauffeur and take you around."

Later, Judith trusted Iona to cat-sit while she was away.

"I think that was how we kind of switched to the friendship," Iona said.

"It sounds as though it wasn't me, but it was the cat," joked Judith.

"The cat, unfortunately, died."

"But I only kept coming," replied Iona.

For Iona and Judith, their friendship has been built as much on shared interests as their differences.

"We love cooking," said Iona, who now lives in Manchester.

"I'm really good at crochet, and she is good at knitting, and I've wanted to learn to knit for a while, so she's kind of taught me how to do that."

"And just talking about life," said Judith.

"Yeah, we do talk a lot about everything."

Judith said the friendship had benefited her too.

"It helps keep me young, 'cause she challenges me, you know, 'why aren't you walking every day? Don't miss Pilates'.

"Iona is very determined that I am not going to get old."

Like many close friends, they do not always agree.

"We kind of bicker a lot like siblings," said Iona.

Judith said kindness remained at the heart of their relationship.

"You're always very concerned about my welfare. Kindness, consideration and fun."

This year, Judith, who does not have children of her own, will spend Christmas with Iona and her family.

An intergenerational relationship is defined as a connection between people from different age groups, usually with an age difference of more than 15 years.

A report published this year by the American Association of Retired Persons found that half of adults claim to have at least one friend who is from another generation.

Emily Abbott, co-founder of Intergenerational England, said such relationships were more common in the past.

"The way the family looks has changed. People used to live with families or relatives. We need to build this back into society."

A recent YouGov survey found attitudes to an intergenerational friendship were generally positive.

Some 76% believed they generally improve health and wellbeing, 81% said they reduce loneliness and 79% that they can address the mental health crisis.

Emily believes they can also help break down assumptions.

Social media and newspaper headlines often promote the idea, she said, that "Gen Z's are woke, are snowflakes and are lazy. And that (baby) boomers are holding all the wealth."

Iona agrees but thinks that all generations are guilty of an "us and them" attitude.

"A lot of my generation and younger look to the older generation as: they've had all of this privilege.

"They can buy a house for five raspberries and their pensions are massive.

"They look at us glued to our phones, doomscrolling, not talking to each other."

Iona says it is a mistake to judge people at a surface level.

"There are so many things in common between the generations."

Both she and Judith agree that while they bring different perspectives to the friendship, it is what they have in common that has made it last.

Follow BBC Bristol on Facebook, X and Instagram. Send your story ideas to us on email or via WhatsApp on 0800 313 4630.