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No one forgets a smelly person. They leave an enduring mark on minds and t-shirts. They get called names like 'King Pong' - and worst of all, they don't even know. Let us help you smell nice…

What is BO?

Sweat doesn't smell, but if it's left on the skin it quickly attracts bacteria, which release pongy chemicals. This mainly happens around the armpits, although the gonads can also get a bit whiffy. When you hit puberty, you get smellier. And remember, most hummers aren't aware of their own stench.

How can I stop it?

Shower every day. Maybe more in the summer - and especially after sport. Change t-shirts daily. And put some nice-smelling gunk on your armpits…

Deodorant or anti-perspirant?

Many people think these are exactly the same thing, but they work differently. Anti-perspirant blocks sweat pores. Result: no sweat (and no smell). With deodorant, you'll sweat normally, but it masks the stink with nice-smelling chemicals.

The deodorant is probably a healthier option. Sweating is natural, after all. But if you're smelling funkier than a Red Hot Chilis bassline, anti-perspirant might be a safer bet.

More drastic measures include shaving your armpits (even boys), or seeing a chemist, who can give you an antibacterial solution.

Boys and aftershave

Nice aftershave makes fit, shallow girls like you more. There are two ways you can ruin this effect.

1. Be wary of cheap, nasty colognes from the market with names like 'Wolf'. If you can't work out whether an aftershave smells good or bad, get a girl - any girl - to help you choose.
2. Don't slap half a bottle on your face - you'll smell like Dale Winton on his wedding day. Less is more. One or two drops are enough to give chicks a hint of your hygienic masculinity.

Girls and perfume

The same as above really.

1. Less is more, dab it on your pulse points (that's wrists, the sides of your neck, anywhere you would normally feel for a pulse.)
2. Be wary of celebrity brands. Are you absolutely sure you want to smell like Britney Spears? And doesn't Hollyoaks just smell of the Dog?
   
   



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Copy by Kevin Darling