From 'life is good' to 'defensive PTSD' in two chaotic minutes

"Football's a funny old game" they say. But by 4pm on Sunday I wasn't laughing as I trudged out of Dens Park.

I was stunned, shocked, mildly traumatised and wondering if there's a support group for fans of teams that can't defend a lead.

Let's rewind. We're 93 minutes into a 95-minute match. United are 2-0 up and cruising. The referee is glancing at his watch, likely wondering what's for tea, and I'm mentally queuing up the victory songs. Life is good.

Then United do what United have specialised in all season, defensive capitulation.

In the space of two minutes, a comfortable derby win turned into the footballing equivalent of watching a waiter proudly present a flaming dessert... before the flames set the tablecloth on fire.

United had been the better side for 93 minutes, but unfortunately this match lasted for 95.

The blue third of the city will be dining out on that comeback for years. Meanwhile, the tangerine two-thirds will be waking up in cold sweats and nervously checking clocks.

United probably still need a few more points to guarantee top-flight football next season and you'd like to think they'll get them. But given this team's talent for turning winning positions into abstract art, nothing feels entirely safe.

Next up: Celtic at Tannadice. A fixture few United fans circle with joy at the best of times, never mind with defensive PTSD still fresh.

One possible advantage? The pitch. At the moment it's a close contest between our defending and the playing surface for most embarrassing thing at the club this season.

Still, there's every chance Celtic won't enjoy trying to play football on something that currently resembles a farmer's field after a tractor rally.

We'll find out soon enough.

Paul McNicoll can be found at the Dode Fox Podcast, external