Wee Ned's Day

Ian Brotherhood

Pick a special day she says

Its got to be special she says.

And its got to be true.

So Im sitting here for days, and nothing much special about them anyway, with the rain coming down and juking out with Shane between showers, and him not too happy either, always smelling damp. Maybe hes not that bothered but it sure bothers me, that smell. They always use that word about wet dogs. Dank. Dank dog. Rank more like. Nothing unusual about that either. Rank Shane Dank Dog Shocker! Nah.

A special day? Extra Ordinary she says, saying the words separate, nice and rounded, every syllable. Its homework. Purely optional of course, but you dont want to go in there empty-handed. No way. She never loses the smile, that smile, but theres something in her eyes changes if you give her any lip or contradict her or opt not to do the optional creative assignment.

A special day? Aye. That would be when something changed. For better or worse and all that jazz. A plot-point. A random meeting. Something synchronitic. Mmmm. Nice word. If its real right enough. Better check that. Synchronitic?

She doesnt like you just making up words. Here, wait a minute I says, this is meant to be a creative writing class, so why cant we make up new words eh? It wasnt even me made it up. It was Alison. It was a wee poem she did and she said the clouds were bumphly. She made her spell it. Bee. You. Emm. Pee. Aitch. Ell. Why. Bumphly. And what would that mean Alison? Well, its sort of soft and fluffy and a wee bit like the shape of a bum?

Sounded alright to me. Made sense. And creative too. But the smile nearly disappeared. She cleared her throat and said, thank you Alison, but we all know the perils of trying to run before we can walk, dont we dear?

Wee Alison never came back after that, but I still remember her every time I see a cloud thats, well, a cloud thats bumphly.

One thing leads to another. A glance across a crowded room. Something like that. Kismet. You reap what you sow, so they say. So dont kill that spider or step on that slug, then you might get a call about a job. Keep the faith. What goes around comes around. Yep.

Aye, and here it comes round again, with lawd only knows what fresh hell. That was Parker, Dorothy dont ye know. A few thousand extra ordinary days then she was deid. Cest la vie, so to speak.

Then it hits me like a skip full of muddy wellies. Oh aye. Looking at that blank page. Couldnt even be bothered getting up to put the light on. Dim in the room, rank dank, Shane asleep across my feet.

Not much extra ordinary about this pal. Not so as youd notice. But get this man.

Past is done and tomorrow never comes. Oh aye. Thats true enough. Profound. Youll never be younger than you are right now. Thats another one. The longest journey starts with you know what. Kin right.

So tell me anything more extraordinary than this. This here, right now. The fact youre reading it, making it real again. Just this one moment of an ordinary day, set down because I just happen to feel like it. Not cause its an optional creative assignment. Not cause I want to impress you or anyone else, and certainly not her. Its just cause I dont want to wake up the dog, and hes keeping my feet warm anyway.

And you know what? Im going to take this in and read it to the class. Aye. I will. She wont like it. She really wont. But hey, she started it.

Didnt ye hen?