The spray baths

Donald Wilson

I just couldn't sleep. Tomorrow was the big day. My mind tried to imagine what to expect of The Spray Baths. Here I was in primary one at Shakespeare School. On my first day it took three teachers to manhandle me in through the doors kicking and screaming and then not a week later when I asked old Mrs Wilson if I could go to the toilet, she sent me back to my seat petrified so much that I peed myself sitting on my chair. What on earth were they putting me through now? I just needed to sleep and maybe it would all be just a bad dream.

'Have you got your towel?' said my mum

'Aye' I said as I rolled up the rough bristly towel like a Swiss roll.

'Now just enjoy your spray bath.'

Oh no those words again!

The walk to school was like a walk to the gallows and I played a game of giant steps and baby steps in my mind, only I was taking baby steps all the way. Soon enough I was there at the gates. Here goes I thought. My hands and fingers twisting and turning as I tried to squeeze the nerves out and leave them behind in the playground. I went through the big doors.

'Stand up boys and girls.'

'Let's say the Lord's Prayer.....Our Father who art in heaven'

I wish I was in heaven I prayed.

'Amen' said the teacher, I was still in the class the lord had forsaken me.

There was a knock at the door and in walked two big women in pinnies. They looked like twins. Big Bosoms, big arms and kindly faces. They looked like big Aunties that would hug you until you couldn't breathe.

I didn't catch their names but I did catch the last part 'will take all the boys for your spray bath, please remember your towel's'.

I grabbed hold of my Swiss roll towel and joined the queue.

'This way boys'

They led us down stairs next to the Jannies office.

'Don't forget to gie them some Lifebuoy' laughed the Jannie.

We were led into a big open room that had wooden benches all around it. The windows were frosted and the bright sunshine shone through.

'Right boys take aff yer stuff and put them in a pile oan the bench and hing yer towel oan the peg.'

We all scampered to a space and began to take off our clothes. I did this facing the wall. I didn't want to look at anyone else and I didn't want anyone looking at me. The Y Fronts were still on and I turned my head around.

'All of your clothes boys, even yer Ys'

I slid mine down and put them on my pile.

There was a sudden noise from the room across from us. Gushing water.

'Right boys this way.'

We all walked forward like little naked penguins.

The room was filling with steam and I could make out pipes on the walls which went upwards and then turned to face the ground with what looked like the end of a watering can. There was hot water raining out of these spouts.

'Right boys get yerselves under a spray and grab some soap.'

We all made haste to the sprays. There were whoops and shrieks as the boys each got under the hot steamy water. The first thing I did when I got to mine was to raise my hands palms outward and feel the heat and comfort of the water. This was terrific. I shut my eyes and let the water pour over my head, through my hair and snake its way down my back, giving me goose bumps as it went.

I picked up my soap and lathered it in my hands. It smelled great. I rubbed it all over. I was standing there like a big bubbly Michelin Man. The water swirled at my feet as we all stood in a trench that collected the water and sent it running towards a drain in the corner. I squatted down and cupped a hand full of water. What else could I do with this but throw it to the boy next to me. 'Hoy chuck it you!' he squatted and cupped his hands in the water. Whoosh, over it came. This was catching on and the noise of the boys was louder that the sprays.

'Right boys that's enough.'

'Start tae rinse yerselves.'

'Pit the soap doon.'

Our two big Aunties were in the centre of the room and now letting us know that our time in the sprays was coming to an end.

'Right boys oot ye come, time tae dry yerselves.'

After all I had been through there was no way I was leaving this aquatic playground.

A few boys had started to shuffle back to their piles and started drying themselves.

Me and a couple of others just stood there under the sprays. We were obviously the ones that had a bath in the sink because we stayed in a room and kitchen.

'Right boys am no kiddin.'

Still no movement.

'Okay yer gonny get it.'

We all looked at each other, what were they going to do, come and drag us out?

I saw one of the Aunties adjust something on the wall.

'WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA' the shrieks came simultaneously.

The nice hot stream of water had suddenly turned to freezing cold needles that were stabbing at our bodies. I made a hasty slippery getaway towards my pile.

'BRRRRRRR' I did not realised that I had said that out loud but that was the noise I making as I unrolled the Swiss roll and began trying to dry myself.

In no time I was dressed and back at my desk poking my finger into my ear to try and let the water out. All that fuss and the spray baths were the best things in school ever! My nerves were well and truly cleansed.