The Angel and the Buckfast Kids
Hugh McNeil
Do you believe in Angels? I don't have any personal experience of the white-feathered kind but when I think of their main function as messengers I find the idea attractive. When they appear in the Bible they deliver their message or warning and disappear leaving the recipient to act or ignore the message. In my imagination they don't need to take on human form but can appear as statements on advertising hoardings, headlines in newspapers or seemingly random comments from various sources. When I am mulling over a worrisome problem that requires a decision or action my attention can be grabbed by these messages that seem directed at me personally. Sometimes the message or warning comes unbidden and unwelcome and stops me in my tracks and makes me reconsider my options. Of course sceptics will say that it is all in the mind, that it just validates decisions that we want to take anyway. I have to admit that there is that danger and any decision to act must be re-examined for selfish or unworthy motives.
If you have read so far and are wondering where I am going with all this talk about angels and messages please stay with me as it does have relevance to my story.
My favourite walk is along the Fife Coastal Path from Kinghorn to Seafield Tower and it's where I do my deep thinking. I collected Rocky the dog and set off along the path one late summer evening. Across the river Forth the yellow rays of the setting sun transformed Edinburgh into 'a city of gold and a harbour bright' and brought every feature of Inchkeith Island into sharp focus. I was making good progress along the path as I know it well and I was ready to bound up the steep slope that I knew was round the next corner. I was onto them before I knew it - two figures sitting on the ground at the side of the path. They were as startled as I was as I rushed past but the scene froze in my mind.
The boy was about 12 or 13 and looked younger, as boys do. The girl was about the same age but looked 10 years older with her cropped top, bare mid-drift and painted nails. The boy had a bottle of Buckfast Wine raised to his lips and the girl was dragging on a cigarette. In the few seconds that it took to absorb the scene I was past them and round a corner out of sight. My first thought was - should I have stopped and lectured them on the dangers of their actions and perhaps even confiscated the alcohol and cigarettes? This thought was immediately overwhelmed by a strong conviction that it was a bad idea to interfere.
The rest of the walk to Seafield Tower was spent debating with myself the pros and cons of the actions I could or should have taken and I was oblivious to the beauty of the coastline and the abundant seabirds. Even the seal colony on the rocks near the Tower failed to engage me. I started back along the path with the matter still unresolved. What right had I to interfere? I risked getting a mouthful of abuse. Would it make any difference? Would I end up looking ridiculous? Even Rocky the dog seemed to sense my preoccupation and indecision.
I was getting close to the spot where I encountered the two youngsters and I was still no closer to a decision on what I should do. Then my mind turned to the thoughts expressed at the beginning of my story. Perhaps I was being asked to play the part of the angel messenger - to deliver the warning and leave it up to them whether to take heed or not. I felt it was pretentious of me to think that I could be commissioned in such a way but it did give me the confidence I needed to act. What would I say? I certainly couldn't mention the bit about the Angel. I was getting myself in a state and had to remind myself that they were only kids after all and I was the adult. I reached the corner and took a deep breath before continuing.
The spot was empty! They had gone!
My first thoughts were of relief that the decision had been taken out of my hands but they were quickly followed by a feeling of disappointment and sadness at a missed opportunity. I had blown it. My mission was a failure. What would happen to these two youngsters? One thing I am certain of is that you get more than one chance in this life to heed warnings and every day is filled with fresh opportunities for a new start. You have to be ready to listen to the advice. Perhaps the time wasn't right for these kids. I knew that it was not totally up to me. Sometime later another warning message will be commissioned. I hope it has more success than mine. There is always a plan B. My worry was that maybe I was plan B!
Of course, this angel thing is a two-edged sword. How many messages and warnings had I missed or ignored in my own life? For now, my angel wings had been clipped. I returned home in a sombre mood to think again.
