How Not to Run Away

Raymy Boyle

'You fly with the crows, you get shot with the crows!'

I'd been keeping my head down, eyes to the floor, as was customary in these situations but as soon as these words were out of Mr Watson's mouth, I stole a glance at my two partners in crime. Surprisingly, it was Davey (to whom the remark was directed as he protested his innocence), not Magookie who started. He made the mistake of looking at me and a smile started to form. Then Magookie's shoulders started to shake as he tried to hold in his laughter. Watson went mental. He wasn't to know that 'Craw-Nose' was what my mates called me, on account of the rather large beak I'd inherited from my mother's side ('do noses run in your family' was Magookie's well-worn enquiry). Despite being the butt of this private joke, the giggling was infectious and I joined in.

'Do you boys think this is funny' bellowed the now enraged head teacher. He literally spat out the words; a small but graceful arc of saliva left his mouth. All three of us tried to stop laughing but it was no good. As Watson's spittle landed on Davey's jumper, we lost it.

Of course we were expelled. You do not go testing the fire alarms, throwing bangers into the library and laughing in the big man's face, all before the morning bell and expect to get a mere detention. At the time, ours was the first school in Scotland to have done away with the belt but to be honest, all three of us would rather have had six of the best and have it over and done with. 'Ma da's gonnie kill me' Davey said, voicing my own fears.

It was Magookie's idea to run away. Of course it was: he was the epitome of what parents viewed as a bad influence.

'We could go to Edinburgh: I used ti stay there an' a ken ma way aboot'. I immediately got swept up in his crazy enthusiasm. I'm sure the boy was ADHD before we knew such a thing existed. Davy had his usual reluctance but his fear of parental outrage was the deciding factor. As we walked through the school gates, convincing ourselves it was for the last time, we made our plans. We passed Gary Raeburn on the way out; he was a friend of Magookie's, both of them being a year above me and Davey. I, on the other hand hated his guts, on account of coming off worst in an after-school fight the previous term. Magookie told him our plans and swore him to secrecy. I was pleased to see the envy on his face as we left on our great adventure.

We headed over the back of Dechmont Hill and stopped at the bridge over the M8. 'How much money have we got?'

Between us we had £1.42 - not a great fortune to start a new life on. 'We'll huv ti steal fi shops an that' said Magookie 'It's dead easy, the shops in Edinburgh ur really big. Ye can get jist aboot anything'. Davey was worried, as usual. I'm not sure if Magookie sensed this but he changed the subject.

'What's yer biggest secret?' He asked us both 'C'mon, we're never going back, so we can tell each other' I can't remember what his or Davey's secret was but after they shared them I felt secure enough to tell them both that I'd fancied Mandy Robbins for ages. She went out with Gary Raeburn.

It took us another couple of hours to get to the big arched bridge outside Broxburn, mainly because we'd been farting about, stopping at every distraction. We'd been going since just after ten and it was now almost one. The shine had started to wear off and Magookie, who could usually be counted on to provide entertainment, had been quiet for the last half hour. Then he dropped his bombshell. 'Listen guys, av' been thinking. Ah think am gonnie head back' 'What? How come' I tried not to sound too desperate but not sure I succeeded. At least he had the decency to sound a bit awkward.

'Well, it's ma birthday in a couple of days'

We tried to convince Magookie to come but he'd fixated on what he might be getting for his birthday. He bade us a solemn and fairly genuine goodbye, convinced he's never see us again and turned back.

By five o'clock we'd made it to Corstorphine. We passed by a wee newsagents shop and a quick look in the window told me this was as good a place as any. We made our plans: we'd wait till the old shopkeeper went up the back, nip in and grab a box of something off the counter. I had my eye on some caramel wafers but Davey, despite my instructions to stay calm, grabbed the first thing he could and ran madly from the shop. I had no choice but to sprint after him. All the people at the bus stop opposite were laughing at us, as it must have been obvious what we were up to. When we got round the corner and after I'd finished swearing at him for panicking we had a look at what he'd lifted: a box of Hacks cough sweets, the most disgusting thing I've ever tasted! So much for stealing for a living!

We pressed on and eventually made it to Princes Street, the only place we were both familiar with. It was almost seven by this point and we were pretty demoralised. We decided to head to what was probably the most obvious place that two runaways would go to: Waverly Station. And that's where Davey's parents found us half an hour later! The school had phoned our parents about the expulsion and, on his return, Magookie had been grilled and told his parents where we were headed. Despite the fear of the consequences (and there did turn out to be consequences) we were both also pretty relieved. We just weren't cut out for the runway's life.

We were allowed back into school a few days later. It would be good to say that the experience taught us something but we still got into regular trouble. And the day we got back to school I was confronted by Gary Raeburn, who'd heard that I fancied his bird. Magookie's defence to sharing our deepest secrets was, 'But ah didnae think yous would ever be back!'