Becoming Mother

Karen Dorrat

One day I had a baby. That wasnt the real story though. The next day was the real story, the real deal, the day I became a mother. You see, like many mothers before me, the whole labour-birth-baby experience was actually much of a blur. But once those drugs wore off and the room stopped spinning, I woke up the next morning and there she was. My daughter. My responsibility. My greatest achievement.

No-one on the planet prepares you for those firsts. You can study those baby magazines and websites 24-7 and still be clueless the moment you realise youre on your own. Besides physically feeling like Id been run over, that first day in hospital as a mother was the first time Id ever really held a baby, the first time Id ever changed a nappy, and the first time Id ever seen that look on my husbands face.

I had to do it all without my own mother, far from home and surrounded by my husband, friends and visitors who knew just how much I missed her. That unspoken connection that equally amazes and frustrates, I just knew no-one else would comprehend what this was like for me, little old me. Each time a nurse came by and reassured me everything was normal, I knew my doubts and concerns would only really make sense to one person and she couldnt be there, not just yet anyway. ... (continues)