A Plate of Chips

Gerry Woods

The time was summer 1941 and my mother and her friend Big Lizzie decided we were going to Loch Lomond. Lizzie had two boys jimmy and Billy, two big boys who she kept well under control. The plan was to take the tramcar to the Renfrew Ferry, take the ferry across to Yoker and then take the red bus to Balloch. When I think back to that time, there was a war on and holidays were not an essential part of the curriculum. We got on the bus with our message bags full of sandwiches, bottles of water, lemonade, crisps, no napkins, blankets and our swimming costumes. We played all day on the banks of the river Leven and went swimming. When it was time to go home we had eaten all the sandwiches and were quite hungry. My mother and Lizzie asked us if we were hungry. We had been playing from 10 o'clock in the morning and it was now 6pm. We were walking towards the bus stop when we spotted a tea-room. My mother and Lizzie decided to go in for something to eat so they told us that when they asked us what we wanted to eat we were to say 'just a plate of chips'.

We were all sitting comfortably when the waitress came to the table. Lizzie and my mother would like two fish teas. The waitress said, 'What about the boys?' Jimmy said, 'A plate of chips please.' Billy said, 'A plate of chips' and my brother said, 'A plate of chips', so to make it unanimous I said 'A plate of chips' too. Now my Mum and Lizzie then were two young mothers who had probably never been to a restaurant before except with their husbands. Trying to make a good impression, they asked us, 'Is that all you want?' We had been well warned and said, 'A plate of chips for us' but then my mother said, 'Are you sure?' Jimmy was the first. He said, 'Oh well, I'll have a fish tea' and then we all said we would have a fish tea as well. When we had finished eating and were outside the tearoom, we were kicked up the road to the bus stop, but it was well worth it. The fish teas tasted great.