The day i cut my finger off

Matthew Wright

Today is dad's day off. He is a GP which stands for 'General Practice' but he is also a doctor which means he does medicine on people. I don't know what he practices on. My best friend Iain is round to play, and so is his little brother Erland. We have to play in the garden because Iain's mum and dad have to speak to my mum and dad in the sitting room and they don't want us there. My mum sometimes smokes cigarettes up the chimney when people are here and then she smells. I tell her it's yucky. The sun is out sometimes today and there is some wind. We run into the bottom part of the garden that has the trees and lots of tall grass and plants. The tall grass is cool because you can hide in it if you kneel down, which is Ok unless your trousers are Clean On Today like mum says. We play a game where we crawl around in the tall grass trying to catch each other. Then when we've all been caught and Iain and Erland have had a fight because Erland caught Iain and Iain said he didn't I tell them what my Dad said. My Dad says there are pixies in this garden. He saw one. I say. Have you seen one? Iain asks. No, you have to be really quiet and not move for half an hour. That's impossible! Says Erland. Yeah, no one can stay still for half an hour. I think we should do a fire, I say. Maybe we can burn the pixies out. No says Iain, you did a fire last week and we all got in trouble. So then we don't know what to do. Then I find a centipede, which is really cool. We all watch it. It's got lots of funny legs and it wriggles and squirms all over the place. Watch this, says Iain, and he pulls out his penknife and cuts it in two. Now we've got two centipedes he says. We watch as both its ends wriggle and go mental and funny squish comes out of them. When you cut them in half you make two and they go on living, says Iain. I thought that was worms I say. We look at the centipedes. Neither of them are moving anymore. Cut them up some more says Erland. And then he takes out his penknife and starts cutting them into little bits. That isn't right. I forgot my penknife. I run up the garden and across the crunchy gravel and into the house and up the stairs and into the bedroom and get my penknife. Then I run back. Iain and Erland are cutting the heads off flowers with their penknives. Those are mum and dads flowers, I say. Let's cut the heads off the ones down there. So we go down into the long grass again and start hacking through it, exploring. My penknife is very sharp. It cuts the heads off easy. Maybe we should have a sword fight, I say. Nah, says Iain, that might be dangerous. I shrug. We cut through the grass. It's like being in the jungle, Says Iain. Maybe there's tigers, I say. And monkeys, says Iain. And Sharks, says Erland. Don't be stupid, you don't get sharks in the jungle. That's stupid. Says Iain. Mu Mu Muaaa! Says Erland. Me and Iain look at each other, and then Iain punches Erland on the arm. Erland says Aayaa! But we ignore him. Die! Shouts Iain and chops the head off a bluebell. That's really funny so I do it too. And then we all do it. Die! Die! Die! Chop! Chop! Chop! What on earth are you boys doing? Says Mr Irving. He's our next door neighbour and he's so old he doesn't have to do any work anymore. We're killing the bluebells, I say. He laughs and says just don't kill any of those ones there. We won't we say. Then off he goes. Shall we kill some of those ones there? I say. No says Iain, we did that last week and got in trouble. So we chop more bluebells and soon our hands are sticky with bluebell juice and there's none left. What shall we chop now? Says Iain. Trees! Says Erland. Don't be stupid, Trees are too big and hard to chop. Dockens! Says Erland. And they run away to chop dockens. I walk up to our tree. It is big and hard but I want to chop it anyway. My knife is so sharp I bet I could chop it down. I stick my knife in the tree. Little bits fall off it. I can't be doing it right. So I put both hands on my penknife and push it into the tree and scrape it around. I can't do it very well. Then I see the blade is at a funny angle and it's going to spring back into the handle, and I know it does this very quick so I throw the knife down as fast as I can. The knife is in the grass behind the tree and its blade is in the handle. I look at my right hand. There's blood on my first finger, just a little bit cut, not hurting. Then I look at my left hand. My first finger is swinging around on a tiny piece of skin and I can see the bone sticking out where the finger should have been and it looks just like a chicken bone. I start to make a lot of noise and Iain and Erland turn and see it and they start to make a lot of noise and we all run to the house very fast making a lot of noise. Iain and Erland get in before me and I go into the kitchen so I can run it under a cold tap and make it better. My mum comes through and says Oh my God he has! And then starts to say Oh God a lot. Dad comes over and gets me to sit in a chair on the lino floor and goes to get his medical bag. I look at my finger. It's blue and swinging around and blood is coming out onto the kitchen floor which is yellow so it makes a funny colour. That bloody penknife! I say. There's no need to swear! Says Mum. Mum I feel all dizzy and sick, is it loss of blood? I say. And dad comes back and laughs at me. Not it's just shock, he says. Then he says, Bloody hell it's my day off! And then he puts my finger back on over the chicken bone bit and fixes it with a funny bandage. It feels funny when he puts it back on, but that's the only time I feel it at all. Must've gone through the nerves he says. Cool, says Iain, he put your finger back on. Lets go out and play. Iain's mum grabs him and says, you can't go and play now boys. And Dad says, Bloody hell, you're going to the bloody hospital. And on my day off!