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Alice and Leon ask whether their suicide was a move towards something, or away from it.

“I wrestle with: Was it courage, or was it cowardice?”

This question animates a memorial service for Michael and Petra, held several months after their death. Alice and Leon want to understand it as well: Was Michael and Petra’s suicide a move toward something, or away from something else? To figure it out, they reach out to Michael and Petra’s families, to find out what examples they had from their own parents’ end-of-life experiences that might have led them to this choice.

If you are suffering distress or despair, details of help and support are available at bbc.co.uk/actionline.

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44 minutes