The Commentators’ View: Shabby shoes & Royal Oak FC

John Murray, Ian Dennis & Ali Bruce-Ball look ahead to the FA Cup quarter-final weekend and reflect on England’s far from sizzling World Cup send off. Plus the non-league Ted Lasso, Steve Bracknall joins the pod live as his Royal Oak FC prepares to take to the field in real life for a big quarter-final of their own. Messages, questions and voicenotes welcome on WhatsApp to 08000 289 369 & emails to TCV@bbc.co.uk

01:10 England struggle in ‘send-off’,
05:00 John gets called out for his ‘shabby shoes’,
11:25 5 Live commentaries this weekend,
13:30 Defining week for Arne Slot?
15:45 What if Spurs get relegated?
23:55 Steve Bracknall joins the pod!
33:30 Unintended pub names,
38:40 Great Glossary of Football Commentary.

5 Live / BBC Sounds commentaries:
Sat 1715 Chelsea v Port Vale in FA Cup,
Sat 2000 Southampton v Arsenal in FA Cup,
Sun 1300 Arsenal v Brighton in Women’s FA Cup,
Sun 1630 West Ham v Leeds in FA Cup.

Great Glossary of Football Commentary:
DIVISION ONE
Agricultural challenge,
Back of the net,
Back to square one,
Backside and elbows,
Booked,
Bosman,
Bullet header,
Channel of joy,
Coupon buster,
Cruyff Turn,
Cultured/educated left foot,
Dead-ball specialist,
Draught excluder,
Elastico/flip-flap,
False nine,
Fox in the box,
Giving the goalkeeper the eyes,
Grub hunter,
Head tennis,
Hibs it,
In a good moment,
In behind,
Magic of the FA Cup,
The Maradona,
Off their line,
Olimpico,
Onion bag,
Panenka,
Park the bus,
Perfect hat-trick,
Piledriver,
Put his cap on it,
Rabona,
Roy of the Rovers stuff,
Schmeichel-style,
Scorpion kick,
Spursy,
Stick it in the mixer,
Sweeper keeper,
Target man,
Tiki-taka,
Towering header,
Trivela,
Where the kookaburra sleeps,
Where the owl sleeps,
Where the spiders sleep.

DIVISION TWO
2-0 can be a dangerous score,
Asterisk,
Back on the grass,
Ball stays hit,
Beaten all ends up,
Blaze over the bar,
Business end,
Came down with snow on it,
Catching practice,
Camped in the opposition half,
Cauldron atmosphere
Coat is on a shoogly peg,
Come back to haunt them,
Corridor of uncertainty,
Couldn’t sort their feet out,
Easy tap-in,
Daisy-cutter,
Drubbing,
First cab off the rank,
Giant-killing,
Goalkeepers’ Union,
Good leave,
Good touch for a big man,
Half-turn,
Has that in his locker,
High wide and not very handsome,
Hospital pass,
Howler,
In the dugout,
In the hat,
In their pocket,
Johnny on the spot,
Lackadaisical,
Leading the line,
Leather a shot,
Middle of the park,
Needed no second invitation,
Nice headache to have,
No-look pass,
Nutmeg,
On their bike,
One for the cameras,
One for the purists,
Played us off the park,
Points to the spot,
Prawn sandwich brigade,
Purple patch,
Put their laces through it,
Queensbury rules,
Reaches for their pocket,
Rolls Royce,
Root and branch review,
Row Z,
Screamer,
Seats on the plane,
Show across the bows,
Slide-rule pass,
Staving off relegation,
Steal a march,
Sting the palms,
Straight in the bread basket,
Stramash,
Taking one for the team,
Telegraphed that pass,
Tired legs,
That’s great… (football),
Thunderous strike,
Turns on a sixpence,
Walk it in,
We’ve got a cup tie on our hands.