Kerry Whybrow's idea of bliss is to be out in the fresh air spending time with her small flock of lamas, alpacas and two giant dogs. At 6'3" with broad shoulders, Kerry makes for imposing figure as she strides through the Norfolk countryside in her bright pink wellies. For much of her life, Kerry has felt increasingly uncomfortable with being a man – hence the woman's name and a determination to change sex. "After the failure of my third marriage I realised hang on, this marriage business is not all it's cracked up to be. This may sound strange, but I realised that I wasn't happy," she said. "I preferred the female way of life and female things. I don't get an erotic thrill from being female or anything like that - I just feel comfortable and all my life I've tended to be towards the female side of things," she added. Born Keith Whybrow in 1944, Kerry was adopted at 14 days old. Named by his new parents as Roger Steed he grew up in the West Country, before moving to London at the age of 11. A life in the wrong skinAfter finishing school he enjoyed a number of jobs, but looking back Kerry knows she was conforming to peer pressure, resulting in a life in the wrong skin. "I've always realised I've never quite been the same as other young males, adolescents - but peer pressure put me into roles that I went along with, but wasn't happy with," said Kerry. "I was expected to be married and to have a macho job when deep down, I didn't realise it at the time but I do know, I didn't want that and I wasn't happy with it. "I started off being a trout farmer, then I went into a West End gun shop – all very macho, but the job I was happiest with was selling ladies' dress materials. I loved the feel of the material.  | | Fire Brigade training, August '63 |
"My first wife said, 'That's not a very masculine job, not a proper job,' so I went and joined the London Fire Brigade and served in the fire service for 22 years," she added. After finishing in the fire service, Kerry - then Roger - worked within the social services, before enrolling for a course at Portsmouth University. These were turbulent times as he faced the end of his second marriage and the death of his adoptive father. Eventually, Roger moved to Norfolk where he worked as a bus driver for more than 15 years. The rural lifestyle suited his love of nature, his passion for fishing and being in the open air. A life in conflictBut whilst things looked good on the outside, in his heart Roger knew that his life was in conflict. Eventually it was time to seek professional help about his feelings of gender identity and the desire for things to change. "I initially went to see my doctor and explained the situation. He referred me to a specialist who then refered me to the Charing Cross Gender Clinic," said Kerry. "The condition I have is known as gender dysphoria. I had some searching interviews, very intimate, I felt in-the-face interviews. "Questions about my sexuality, my attitude to life and that… and then I was told I had to try and live 24/7 as a female which I have tried to do. To save confrontation I have tended to dress down and play it down a bit – but I have still felt very female," she added. In May 2005 Kerry took the steps needed to change her name by statutory declaration so she could be officially recognised as Kerry Whybrow. The journey into womanhoodThis will be an extraordinary year in Kerry's life. In November 2005, doctors agreed to provide Kerry with hormone replacement therapy. Kerry got the first box of tablets just before Christmas. She remember the moment when she opened that parcel. "Nervous, excited, possibly a little frightened. There was some consideration of 'Am I sure this is what I want' which only took seconds. The instant reaction was 'Yes, this is the path I wish to travel – as hard as it may be'," she said. Kerry took her first tablet within a couple of minutes and thought 'At last I've started on the pill'. For the first time in 60 years she felt she was finally getting what she wanted.  | | Kerry with her dogs |
As Kerry makes her way down a long and challenging road, it brings with it some lighter moments. "I did frighten the electricity man one morning. I'd got in late the night before and he knocked at eight o'clock in the morning," she said. "I'm standing there in a short pink nightie with no wig on and I might not have had any teeth in. An horrific site! "He said 'I've come to read the meter'. I said, 'It's in the bedroom, follow me,' which he did. He couldn't read the meter fast enough and I think he covered the 100-metre sprint from my house to his van in record time," she laughed. An amusing incident in what could be a long and lonely business. It will be year before Kerry feels the full effects of the hormones, but starting out on the journey has already severed family ties. "I have no family as such now. I have two half-brothers which I didn't know I had until about six years ago. I have a daughter somewhere in the country," she said. "When I wrote and told her of the changes she could not accept it. As she has rejected me in life, I reject her – she must go her own way and I must go my own way," she added. Kerry no longer has contact with any ex-wives, things have moved on - but she longs to have someone in her life. "I have been hurt in three relationships, deeply hurt. I would like to have a series of very close friends who I can share, say, intimate moments. People who I can call on and have a good cry with and share a joy with," she said. "I had nobody to share the fact that I was starting my hormone treatment. I would have loved to have cracked open a bottle of champagne with somebody. "When I lost my job I wanted to come home and have a damn good cry and cuddle, but there was nobody there. I would like somebody around like that, that I could call upon on occasion," she added. Kerry Whybrow has now been taking her hormone treatments for three months. Over the forthcoming year, Kerry will be writing a diary for BBC Norfolk and sharing the highs and lows as she gets closer towards her dream of becoming a woman. To read more about her remarkable journey, bookmark this page to find links to the latest updates. | 
