Extra large window overlooking the runway. Here you can see the plane that you were meant to be on to Munich, taking off without any passengers, as this is the only way we could possibly get there on time. We are number one for punctuality!

Our children’s area is made of soundproofed glass and has a television playing Bloomberg Classic (business news from the 70s, 80s and 90s) and a vacuum cleaner which you are welcome to retrieve assorted pieces of Lego from.

Yes we have delicious bar with alcohol to suit all tastes as long as you want a mini bottle of Kestrel beer. Please note that passengers who appear intoxicated will not be allowed to board Fylo’s aircraft. If you are especially pretty and a little tipsy, you may be asked to go to Omar’s private office where there is a very special bed for you to rest in.

Enjoy coffee likea my mamma used to makea at our exclusive coffee bar. Taste one of our three varieties: Hot coffee, cold coffee, coffee with something odd swimming in it. Plus enjoy a piece of traditional Italian Scottish shortbread.

These muffins have been put in extra strong plastic bags. See how quickly you can open one. Twenty minutes is the current record.

An interesting rack of magazines to help you relax with plenty of variety including Business Today, Business Tomorrow, the Daily Mirror TV supplement (3 weeks old) and Busy Businesses.

Freshen up and make new friends in our communal shower (please provide your own soap and towels).

This is our quiet area for you to snooze to your hearts delight. We have carefully put a piece of orange cling film over the fluorescent bulbs in this section to create a delightful ambience. What is more we promise to play the frequent announcements about cancellations and the benefits of taking out a FlyLo credit card at only 8 in volume rather than 10 as in the rest
of the lounge.

Our famous foot spa. Do you think they have one like this in the Lufthansa lounge? I think they do not! Okay, I know they do not because this is their one. It is very nice. Two of the three bubble jets are working and I have asked a member of staff to fish the plasters and bits of old verruca left at the bottom and this should happen most soon!

Come and enjoy a range of treatments with products sourced exclusively from the Netto value range. Our therapists will make your troubles float away during your twenty second treatment. Must be booked in person no less than ninety
days in advance.

Many different styles of furniture making an exciting ‘mix and match’ feel which I, Omar Baba personally chose from a selection of bedsits I own in the Balham and Streatham Hill areas. Perhaps you will find something interesting hidden behind one of the cushions!